Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions

Book #197 (Unique books)
Book #6 in 2013

 Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions

by Neil Gaiman

 "In the deft hands of Neil Gaiman, magic is no mere illusion . . . and anything is possible. In Smoke and Mirrors, Gaiman's imagination and supreme artistry transform a mundane world into a place of terrible wonders--where an old woman can purchase the Holy Grail at a thrift store, where assassins advertise their services in the Yellow Pages under "Pest Control," and where a frightened young boy must barter for his life with a mean-spirited troll living beneath a bridge by the railroad tracks. Explore a new reality, obscured by smoke and darkness yet brilliantly tangible, in this extraordinary collection of short works by a master prestidigitator. It will dazzle your senses, touch your heart, and haunt your dreams."

November 25th to February 18th - a lot of days - 339 pages

Notes:

Read mostly as bedtime stories. 

Favorite stories:

The Wedding Present (most favorite)

Chivalry

The Goldfish Pool and Other Stories

Changes

Shoggoth's Old Peculiar (I like this one because I first heard it live at An Evening With Neil Gaiman & Amanda Palmer)

Looking For The Girl

We Can Get Them For You Wholesale

Murder Mysteries

All The Wrong Questions: "Who Could That Be at This Hour?"

Book #196 (Unique books)
Book #5 in 2013

 All The Wrong Questions: "Who Could That Be at This Hour?"

by Lemony Snicket

"Before you consider reading 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you curious about what is happening in a seaside town that is no longer by the sea?

2. Do you want to know more about a stolen item that wasn't stolen at all?

3. Do you really think that's any of your business? Why? What kind of person are you? Are you sure?

4. Who is that standing behind you?"

February 2nd to 6th - 5 days - 258 pages

Notes:

NEW LEMONY SNICKET

The Vampire Diaries: The Awakening

Book #195 (Unique books)
Book #4 in 2013

The Vampire Diaries: The Awakening

by L. J. Smith

 "Elena: the golden girl, the leader, the one who can have any boy she wants.

Stefan: brooding and mysterious, he seems to be the only one who can resist Elena, even as he struggles to protect her from the horrors that haunt his past.

Damon: sexy, dangerous, and driven by an urge for revenge against Stefan, the brother who betrayed him. Determined to have Elena, he'd kill to possess her.

Collected here in one volume for the first time, volumes one and two of The Vampire Diaries, the tale of two vampire brothers and the beautiful girl torn between them."

February 1st to 2nd - 1 1/2 days - 255 pages

Notes:

Man, this is so awful. But it was really easy to read so I just kept reading it. Like reading a bad fanfiction, especially after watching the show. Don't get me wrong, the show is terrible, but pretty sure the books are worse. It's likely at some point I will end up reading some of the other ones just because they're so angsty and ridiculous and I can read them really dramatically, but goodness are they bad.

Sorry L. J. Smith. This is just like everything I hate about YA books wrapped up into one teenage stereotypical mess.

A Series Of Unfortunate Events: The Slippery Slope

Book #194 (Unique books*)
Book #3 in 2013

 A Series Of Unfortunate Events: The Slippery Slope

by Lemony Snicket

 "Dear Reader,

Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferably not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their journey up-and down- a range of strange and distressing mountains.

In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.

Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate your-self to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.

With all due respect,

"

January 15th to 27th - 3 days - 337 pages
  
Notes:
why is Lemony Snicket so great
 
*I have read these lots of times but I'm counting it in my total because it's never been published here.

Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian

Book #193 (Unique books)
Book #2 in 2013

Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian

by Eoin Colfer

"Seemingly nothing in this world daunts the young criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl. In the fairy world, however, there is a small thing that has gotten under his skin on more than one occasion: Opal Koboi. In "The Last Guardian," the evil pixie is wreaking havoc yet again. This time his arch rival has reanimated dead fairy warriors who were buried in the grounds of Fowl Manor. Their spirits have possessed Artemis's little brothers, making his siblings even more annoying than usual. The warriors don't seem to realize that the battle they were fighting when they died is long over. Artemis has until sunrise to get the spirits to vacate his brothers and go back into the earth where they belong. Can he count on a certain LEPrecon fairy to join him in what could well be his last stand?"

January 19th to 24th -  6 days - 328 pages

Notes:

I just spent about 4 hours straight reading on the floor and my back is very messed up but I love Eoin Colfer and I am happy with this ending which I was worried I wouldn't be because I was not very happy with the last 2 books and also I cried when Artemis was saying goodbye to Holly.

I feel like I just wrapped up my childhood because now everything is over.

Peeps

Book #192 (Unique books)
Book #1 in 2013

Peeps

by Scott Westerfeld

 "Last year as college freshman, narrator Cal was infected by exotic goth Morgan with a parasite that caused following girlfriends to become vampire-like ghouls he calls parasite-positives "Peeps". A carrier without symptoms, he hunts his progeny for the centuries old bureaucratic Night Watch. But victims are showing more sanity, pretty human Lacey is pushing his buttons, and her apartment building basement houses fierce hordes of ravening rats, red-eyed cats, and monstrous worms that threaten all. Morgan has the secret to a centuries-old conspiracy and upcoming battle to save the human race."

January 2nd to 5th - 3 1/2 days - 310 pages

Notes:

I now know more about parasites than I ever cared to know, and in general I am just extremely angry about this book.

YOU LET ME DOWN, SCOTT WESTERFELD.

and the eye on the cover freaks me out and you can't even turn it over to make it stop watching you because there is an eye on the back as well. Really angry.

How They Met, and Other Stories

Book #191 (Unique books)
Book #50! in 2012

 How They Met, and Other Stories

by David Levithan

 "Here are 18 stories, all about love, and about all kinds of love. From the aching for the one you pine for, to standing up and speaking up for the one you love, to pure joy and happiness, these love stories run the gamut of that emotion that at some point has turned every one of us inside out and upside down. What is love? With this original story collection David Levithan proves that love is a many splendored thing, a varied, complicated, addictive, wonderful thing."

December 29th to 31st - 3 days - 244 pages

Notes:

I really enjoyed this book. I liked that it was stories about love and not love stories, and that it showed lots of different types of love. It was sweet.

Favorite stories:

The Escalator, a love story

The Number of People Who Meet On Airplanes (favorite of all)

Flirting With Waiters

Princes

Breaking and Entering

Skipping the Prom

What a Song Can Do

How They Met

Intersection

An Abundance of Katherines (re-read)

Book #49 in 2012

An Abundance of Katherines

by John Green

 "19 Katherines and counting...

When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton's type happens to be girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. He's also a washed-up child prodigy with ten thousand dollars in his pocket, a passion for anagrams, and an overweight, Judge Judy-obsessed best friend. Colin's on a mission to prove The Theorem of Underlying Katherine Predictability, which will predict the future of all relationships, transform him from a fading prodigy into a true genius, and finally win him the girl.

 December 24th to 26th - 3 days - 229 pages

Notes:

I love this book. I think I liked it better the second time.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (re-read)

Book #48 in 2012

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

by Douglas Adams

"Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last fifteen years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor.

Together this dynamic pair begin a journey through space aided by a galaxy-full of fellow travelers: Zaphod Beeblebrox--the two-headed, three-armed ex-hippie and totally out-to-lunch president of the galaxy; Trillian (formally Tricia McMillan), Zaphod's girlfriend, whom Arthur tried to pick up at a cocktail party once upon a time zone; Marvin, a paranoid, brilliant, and chronically depressed robot; and Veet Voojagig, a former graduate student who is obsessed with the disappearance of all the ballpoint pens he bought over the years.

Where are these pens? Why are we born? Why do we die? For all these answers, stick your thumb to the stars."

December 20th to 22nd - 3 days - 216 pages

Notes:

Still favorite.

The Last Little Blue Envelope

Book #190 (Unique books)
Book #47 in 2012

 The Last Little Blue Envelope

by Maureen Johnson

"Ginny Blackstone thought that the biggest adventure of her life was behind her. She spent last summer traveling around Europe, following the tasks her aunt Peg laid out in a series of letters before she died. When someone stole Ginny's backpack--and the last little blue envelope inside--she resigned herself to never knowing how it was supposed to end.

Months later, a mysterious boy contacts Ginny from London, saying he's found her bag. Finally, Ginny can finish what she started. But instead of ending her journey, the last letter starts a new adventure--one filled with old friends, new loves, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Ginny finds she must hold on to her wits . . . and her heart. This time, there are no instructions."

December 14th to 18th -  5 days - 282 pages